From time to time, everyone is asked tactless, rude questions. Often, when faced with people shamelessly violating other people's personal boundaries, we get lost, begin to report on what we should not, or unwittingly be rude. How to behave in such an unpleasant situation?
Tactless question? Show good manners
Uneducated people asking unpleasant questions, most often do not even realize that they are tactless. Therefore, answering them rudely, you will only demonstrate that your manners are also impeccable. As they say, go down to their level. It’s up to you to decide which tactics to choose — ignore the question with a polite, incomprehensible smile, in a smooth tone to ask why the asker needs to know this or to laugh it off at ease — in any case, remain polite and correct. If your interlocutor continues to put you in an awkward position, it is permissible to make it clear to him that you consider his questions to be rude, violating your borders.
It is important to realize that sometimes we ourselves show excessive curiosity, reduce the distance and mislead people, allowing us to think that our relationship is at a more trusting stage.
If you don’t want to hear tactless questions from outsiders, try to keep yourself within the framework of polite interest without expressing excessive interest.
A special case is tactless questions from children. Most babies have a natural curiosity and childlike spontaneity, they sincerely do not understand that their question can be impolite. With a small interlocutor, you can get off with a joke, and if he persists, attract the attention of parents. It is definitely not worth trying to raise other people's children.
How to answer the most common tactless questions
How much do you earn? / How much money do you make?
Questions about wage levels are some of the most frequently asked. They can be forgiven with a slight stretch to colleagues who are interested from a professional point of view, figuring out the "temperature" by growth. But such a curiosity is definitely not a sign of a good upbringing, if the question about money is asked by a random interlocutor or friend.
How to answer the question about salary? The easiest way is to say sweetly and benevolently that on this subject you only talk with your boss. Most people will understand the hint and accept this answer. If the interlocutor continues to be interested, you can give a formal, vague answer: "Enough so that I can afford what I like. How about you?" If you assume that the issue is motivated and followed by an even more tactless request, say that your salary is not enough to fulfill all your dreams.
How old are you?
Questions about your age are only relevant from the mouth of your health professionals, insurance or banking agents, who fill out your documents, employees of the pension fund or your personnel department — in short, only those who need this information for work.
How to answer those from whom this question is unpleasant to you? Some laugh it off: "My years are my wealth." Others prefer to look perplexed and ask why the person asking this information.
Have you lost weight?
Even if this is not a question, but a tactless remark, it requires an answer. The easiest way to smile and say: "I feel great! And what do you say about yourself?" Transferring a conversation to an intrusive interlocutor is sometimes the most effective way to get rid of annoying curiosity.
Are you still alone
The question of whether you found someone “suitable” is most often asked by not completely strangers. Nevertheless, this topic does not cease to be personal, and only you decide who you want to discuss it with and who you don’t. It will be correct to answer that you still do not know, but as soon as you decide, immediately notify everyone who needs to know about it. If you manage to look meaningfully at the last words at the interlocutor - excellent!
How much did you pay for this?
Here is another question when it seems that the interlocutor simply runs into rudeness. It is worth staying as part of a good upbringing. We can say that you do not keep such things in your mind and suggest googling the average market value. Or inform the requestor that you are not going to sell your property, so the price does not matter.
Standard answers to tactless questions
There are many more unpleasant questions that not too well-mannered people ask obsessively. For example: when will you get married? get a baby? give birth to a second? are you not pregnant Etc. Trying to predict them all and find answers, you can spend a lot of precious time. But it’s not worth it. Here are some standard ways to make it clear that the question is rude and you won’t answer it:
- I heard right, you really just asked me about
.?;
- I have a principle - do not touch this topic in a conversation. Let's talk about something else.
- I just can’t understand why you are asking about this.
If the interlocutor continues to insist, the most correct thing is to take a step back to increase the space between you, and firmly state that you do not intend to discuss this topic.
