A man is designed so that he needs the support and recognition of others. When others talk about your virtues, the latter seem to become even more valuable. Praise and approval from relatives and friends make you believe that you are a little better than you think about yourself. But you can express praise by making a compliment, or you can flatter a person, and the line between these two methods is very thin.
The difference between flattery and compliment
Indeed, in both cases, the interlocutor, it would seem, emphasizes your merits, perhaps exaggerating them a little. This "little" lies the main difference between flattery and compliment.
As a rule, a compliment reflects reality, conveys the true feelings that the interlocutor has for you and your qualities. Sincerity is one of the main hallmarks of a good compliment. Perhaps your merits, which the interlocutor notes, in the light of his statements become somewhat brighter than it seems to you, but that’s the charm of a compliment: it increases your self-esteem, inspires, makes you want to match the way you look in the speaker’s eyes.
A flattering statement is often a deliberate lie or is a sharp exaggeration of your real merits. In addition, a sensitive person will be able to catch the insincerity of this kind of admiration, its tension and compulsion.
The fact is that they usually resort to flattery when they want to get something from the interlocutor, enlist his support, etc. Just like in the famous fable I.S. Krylova, when the fox praised the alleged virtues of the crow, wanting only to get cheese.
Hearing exaggerated praise addressed to you, you should think: what does this person want from you? How can you be of help to him? If the answer is fast - do not hesitate - you are flattered!
