Sometimes it happens that a person feels "out of place", it seems to him that he is acting in the wrong way. This feeling arises from a lack of understanding of one's social role or rejection of it.
Instruction manual
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A person lives in society and from birth he is "assigned" certain social statuses, for example, of a son or daughter. As these statuses grow older, a person becomes more and more: a school student, student, company employee or employee, husband or wife, parent. Some of these statuses recede into the past as social and personal development, others remain with the person for many years.
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But if social status is a position that this or that person occupies in society, then a social role is a certain set of actions that a person should take if he occupies this or that social status. So, for example, mother is a social status. Her social role is to take care of the development and health of her children, ensure their education, upbringing, instill certain cultural and social skills, etc.
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The social role usually consists of the ideas adopted in a particular society about how a person holding a certain social status should behave. But often a person’s ideas about how he needs to behave in a particular social status differ from those accepted in society. And then various kinds of social conflicts arise, which can be divided into three large groups.
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Intra-role conflicts. They occur when the requirements of one social role conflict with each other. So, the role of the parent implies an affectionate and loving-caring attitude towards their children. At the same time, this role requires the manifestation of rigor and exactingness in the process of education. And sometimes it’s not easy to find a reasonable compromise between rigor and love.
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Inter-role conflicts. They arise when the requirements of one role contradict the requirements of the role of another. So, the role of the wife and mistress of the house implies an attentive attitude to the husband and children, all kinds of manifestations of care for them, the desire to establish everyday life and maintain order in the house. And the role of a successful professional sometimes requires sacrificing your personal time, interests and personal life for the sake of the interests of the case. And if a woman tries to fully combine these two social roles, this can lead to nervous strain and even to illness.
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Personality-role conflicts. This type of conflict arises if the requirements for a particular social role contradict the characteristics of a particular personality, its aspirations and values. So, to be a good specialist, not enough solid knowledge and extensive professional skills. To move up the career ladder requires the ability to communicate effectively, and stress resistance, and certain volitional qualities. If a person has not developed enough, it will be extremely difficult for him to achieve success in this social role.
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Unfortunately, it is hardly possible to completely resolve social conflicts for each individual. But you can try not to bring them to a "critical point." To do this, try to do the following.
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Get rid of perfectionism, i.e. the desire to fulfill each of its social roles in the most brilliant and best way. Remember that it is impossible to become too good for everyone. It will be enough to realize that the basic functions of a social role are performed, as well as the recognition of this fact by the closest and most significant people.
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Correctly prioritize. Determine for yourself which of the social statuses at the moment is the most significant for you at the moment. Based on this, more attention is paid to the corresponding social role, it is performed more carefully.
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Cultivate oneself. If the achievement and retention of any social status is extremely important for you, and the existing personal qualities do not allow you to achieve it and establish yourself in it, it remains only to identify your own shortcomings and patiently and consistently work to eliminate them.
