Sometimes you can hear people complaining that others are not treating them the way they would like to. Someone complains that no one cares about him and no one to support him, someone lacks friendly participation and attention, someone complains that his beauty is invisible to others. Many of us simply do not understand that changing the attitude of people to ourselves is possible only if you change yourself.
Instruction manual
1
Decide for yourself - what you need from others, what you want to get from communicating with them. Maybe the informational component of communication is important for you, or maybe warmth and attention, salvation from loneliness. Communication with people is certain emotions that it causes you. You like it when you are loved, respected, praised, you are satisfied when you are loved the way you are. It is this desire of love that dictates your desire for communication. In order to be loved, you sometimes do things that you don’t want to do and say yes when you want to say no.
2
Realize for yourself that the motive for your actions is the desire to like and fear not to please others. This can be a subject for manipulating you, including from those people who simply want to use you, while not loving and respecting at all.
3
There is another way to get the love of others, while not sacrificing and not losing self-esteem, satisfying your interests, and not the interests of other people. And this way is quite simple: love yourself. When you begin to respect and value yourself, to prioritize your interests and those of those who are really dear to you and close, when you accept yourself as you are, the attitude of others will change. A person who loves and respects himself, just like other people, recognizing them exactly the same right. And people feel it.
4
If you do not love yourself, then it is also difficult for others to do it. You constantly require increased attention to yourself, constantly disappointed and offended. The friendly participation and love of others constantly goes into that "black hole", which is your dislike of yourself. Only you yourself are able to "patch" it to fill the vessel of your love. Do not make claims against others who, as you think, are indifferent to you. Remember that they treat you the way you treat yourself.
