Every day a person manages to talk with a huge number of people on a variety of issues. And the result of the dialogue directly depends on how well you are able to conduct a conversation.
Instruction manual
1
Start a conversation by building trust. This does not mean that by all means you need to get friends. It is enough to enter into resonance with him, to position him.
2
Depending on what level you are going to have a conversation - business or personal - choose the duration of this stage and the depth of the required trust. And with a passing contact, it’s enough to attract the attention of a person, make sure that he is ready to listen to you.
3
So, the beginning of the conversation is laid - you exchanged greetings or made a compliment, perhaps talked about the weather and family at lunch. Go to the issue you were about to discuss.
4
First, state the essence of the problem, and then divide it into separate elements - so it will be easier for a person to perceive what you came to him with and what you want from him. And you will be protected from excessive emotionality, which can ruin the whole thing.
5
Active listening will help you. Active listening is the ability to show the other person that he understands that you respect his views and beliefs. - use “open” gestures, do not keep arms or legs crossed
- Express your attitude to what you hear
- start your phrases by clarifying and rephrasing what a person said, for example, "you want to say that
.", " Did I understand correctly that …"
- Listen to the answer of the interlocutor, even if you do not like it or do not correspond to the expected. This is a very important step - to clarify the position of the interlocutor - in order to find compromise solutions.
6
For yourself, decide what concessions you are ready to make, even at the stage of pondering the conversation. Then you will have several blanks-offers - do not hesitate to express them, even if they look a little absurd.
7
It is a clear knowledge of the goal, the ability to actively listen and hear - the key to a properly constructed, constructive conversation. And even if you could not come to a consensus, you will not have a feeling of misunderstanding each other.
note
Do not blame the interlocutor, do not use the generalization “you are always”, “as usual, you”, “forever you” …
Useful advice
If you are overwhelmed by feelings, express them: "I can not talk about it calmly!"
