In the Orthodox tradition, prayers for the departed are the result of love for the deceased loved ones. That is why after death a person is not forgotten, but remembered by prayer, deeds of mercy. There are special days in memory of the deceased, which are counted from the day of death.
In the life of our people, the tradition of commemorating the deceased on the ninth, fortieth days, anniversaries is widespread. These dates are not accidental; they have their basis in Christian tradition.
According to church tradition, on the third day after death, the soul appears before God, after which she is shown the paradises. On the ninth day, after being examined by the soul of paradise, she again ascends to worship the Lord. That is why the ninth day from the day of death is commemorated. However, in the minds of some people the main meaning of remembrance is lost. So, what is the Christian Orthodox meaning of the commemoration on the ninth day, and how to remember the dead?
The main components of any days of remembrance of deceased loved ones are prayer and the performance of works of mercy. Therefore, it is necessary to pay more attention not to the external form of remembrance, which is often absolutely meaningless and frankly superstitious, but to the internal component of our memory of the departed.
On the ninth day from the day of death, it is necessary to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. If there is a temple in the city in which the morning liturgy is celebrated on that day, it is necessary to submit notes on the repose and pray for the main Orthodox divine service. In addition, believers order a requiem. Sometimes prayer memorials in the temple are ordered in advance.
In addition to conciliar prayer in the church, an Orthodox person remembers the deceased and at home in their prayers. This is especially true of commemoration days, including the ninth. At home, you can read the canon of the departed, 17 kathisma of the psalter (or several kathismas with insets of prayer for the departed), the succession of lithium, an akathist for the one who died.
If possible, on the ninth day from the date of death, you can visit the grave. If necessary, clean at the burial site. At the cemetery itself, it is necessary to pray again for the repose of the soul of the deceased.
On the ninth day, it is customary to prepare a memorial dinner. Its meaning is not to eat, but to complete the work of mercy. Relatives of the deceased invite relatives and friends of the deceased to the table, feed them. Sometimes they also invite poor people to commemorate dinners, fulfilling the Lord's covenant about the nourishment of those who hunger and thirst. In this case, it does not matter where exactly the dinner is being prepared (at home or in a cafe). It depends on the convenience and capabilities of the organizers of the commemoration.
At a memorial dinner, it is also very important not to forget about prayer. Before eating, you must ask God to forgive the sins of the deceased. Relatives of the deceased may well ask for prayers for the repose of the soul of the commemorated and all gathered. If anyone does not know the text of the prayers, it is quite possible to pray in your own words about the repose of the soul of the newly-departed.
For Orthodox people, it is important to know at what time is the ninth day from the day of death. If it is a fasting day, it is advisable to prepare a fasting memorial dinner. And, of course, do not forget that the dead cannot be remembered with alcohol.
In addition, on the ninth day you can do alms. For example, hand out food and clothing to those in need (if this has not been done before).
Thus, it should be clearly understood that the most useful and necessary for a person who has moved to another world is not just the memory of the living and the preparation of funeral dinners, but a heartfelt prayer for the repose of the soul and the performance of mercy.
