They say a word can be killed. Especially if it sounded from the lips of a loved one or friend. Probably the most natural reaction is to respond with "reciprocity", tell the offender something sharp and bring him to tears. However, the scandal is hardly a way out of the situation. Need to look for other ways.
Instruction manual
1
Protection is a normal human reaction. You have been insulted, which means that they made a psychological attack on you. Moreover, the kinder the offender, the harder the blow. Why it happens? Because a person who knows all your ins and outs is well aware of the weakest points:
- you are unhappy with your figure and he knows about it; in a fit of anger he says something like “watch your weight”, it is clear that in a rude form;
- Or do you like to sit at home, housekeeping, mopping floors, frying pies and, accordingly, you get "domestic chicken". In the worst case scenario, "a domestic chicken that needs to monitor its weight."
2
From this we can conclude that no one should be allowed to get too close - it will not hurt. But this is a wrong conclusion. Rather, you need to think about what the person really wanted to tell you and why you reacted so. Having understood what is behind the insults, you will learn how to respond to them.
3
If they called you, then first of all they wanted to draw your attention to some problem. Like, hey you, hear me! Perhaps you are not careful enough - your abuser has problems at work, a midlife crisis, stomach ache? Your answer: to find out as correctly as possible what happened.
4
If the insult has touched you to the core, then you believe that the offender told the truth or was close to the truth. Returning to the “chicken” example: you yourself feel fat, groomed and not interesting to anyone. What to do? Change!
5
If you have reacted violently to harmless words or are generally prone to a “free interpretation”, then you lack love and tenderness. Now you are already attracting attention with inappropriate behavior and if not participation, then at least a scandal that is still better than nothing. The solution is to build relations with this person in a new way, and if you fail, to leave. You cannot build a happy life on insults.
6
Conclusion: name-calling is only a consequence. Look for the cause and work with it. If the words you hear seem offensive only to you, most likely a crisis has come into your relationship. And remember, nothing personal - everyone just solves his problems!
